Monday, March 17, 2008

300 teeny weeny cupcakes

I blogged earlier about the potential job for a local store here.
This store, Blue 7, decided that they wanted to commission me for 300 teeny tiny bite sized vegan french toast cupcakes.

My first reaction was..oh shit there's no way I can pull that off by myself! No freakin way.
I decided I was going to call him & say thanks, but no thanks. I just don't think I can do it in my tiny kitchen with my crappy oven & my two little monkeys at my feet the entire time. Their favorite thing to do while I'm baking is dip their fingers in the batter. While that's fine when I'm baking for us or friends I didn't think the general public of Oklahoma City would appreciate snot, juice residue, or whatever other random things living on their hands in their cupcakes.
I got bullied into doing it though, being told all the things you get told when someone's trying to push you to better yourself..you'll regret it if you don't give it a shot. That kinda stuff that you know you need to hear but hate the person telling you because they're seriously inhibiting your ability to be as lazy as possible.
So, I gave in & called him telling him that he would indeed have his 300 cupcakes by 11:30am on Saturday, March 15th.

Now comes the question: How am I going to pull this off when I'm still a total amateur & have never baked more than 3 dozen at one time?
Through friends & family I was able to devise a game plan.
Wednesday was cleaning day. I put away every kitchen appliance that wasn't required for baking. I did every dish in the house, then wiped down every counter space in sight. I got out all the ingredients I would need for the next day & set them out. Every time I'd walk through the kitchen I'd prepare myself mentally & beg God for the willpower to get the job done.

Thursday was sifty mixy day. I sifted together all my dry ingredients & bagged them up in ziploc baggies.
Then I mixed together all my icing then stored the handy rubbermaid containers in my newly super clean refrigerator.

Friday was baking day. Dun dun dun...for some reason this was the day I was most apprehensive about.
But everything went remarkably well. Despite the fact that filling 300 tiny cupcake liners is a total pain in the ass & a serious strain on one's back, I got them all done.
I finished early enough to take the kids out shopping where they both scored a new pair of shoes in celebration of mommy's achievement.

Saturday morning I awoke at the literal ass crack of dawn to ice the cupcakes only to realize that my icing was way too thin. I miscalculated obviously. I should've known something was a-miss on Thursday when I had nearly 3 bags of powdered sugar left over even though we had calculated everything down to the last speck of flour. Instead I thought "Awesome! I have left over sugar for later!" After my poor husband talked me down from a near panic attack that would've warranted saying "step back in the window off the ledge" if we lived in a high rise apartment instead of a single wide trailer I did the super easy task of thickening the icing by just adding the missing sugar into the mix.
Then came the piping on of the icing. While I enjoy the outcome this is the part I hate the most. Filling a pastry bag is about as much fun to me as biking naked in January. But I pulled through it..
I then finished them off with a sprinkle of cinnamon & was finally finished.



I then proceeded to put on all new clothes-something I haven't done in ages. The night before I shaved my legs-gasp! & cut all my hair off.
I even smeared on a little makeup before delivering the goods.



I let Cory take the huge pastry boxes in before I went into the store. I don't know why but I didn't want to be there when they opened the boxes.
So I marched in after my husband, feeling hotter than ever, with one kid on a hip & the other holding my hand, & saw that they were all practically drooling over the cupcakes. They raved on & on about how delicious they were when I brought in the samples & how they couldn't wait to eat them all.

I collected my check then waltzed around the store, bought myself a scarf for a job well done, and left feeling more accomplished than ever. Save for the two times I pushed a human out of my vagina.

So there you have it...I am now a "professional" so to speak.
I take comfort in knowing that it couldn't possibly get worse than 300 tiny cupcakes, right?
& I've decided that in the future if I ever get ridiculously rich & famous for having the most amazing bakery in area I will hire an assistant whose only job will be to clean up after me. I'm still sweeping powdered sugar off my kitchen floor.

3 comments:

emily said...

i love your cupcake birth story! hahah. i am sooo proud of you!

vanessa said...

haha..my cupcake birth story. :)
Thank you!!
When I'm there it's gonna be a 24/7 cupcake baking party.

Anita Ann said...

I bet you are happy you took the job in the end. I think if I ever did Jimmy would end up taking over the project, he is the family baker (he is a former pastry chef/baker. The only thing he lets me bake without sneaking behind my back is tres leche cake and jell-o cake....oh and the kitty litter cake.
You rock and I want your sweater